Stuff

As I sit here in my living room and look around me I start trying to remember what led me to simplifying. What was it that triggered something in my brain and made me want to start selling all of my beautiful things? When did I decide that less is more? I had worked hard to collect all of that stuff! What changed me?
I think that it was probably the fact that we have moved far too often in the past few years. We humans are quick to assume that everyone besides us must have it all together.  If that is what you think of me, allow me change your mind. As I mentioned in my first post, Jonny and I have had a difficult marriage. We were both very young and very stupid when we married. We lacked patience for each other and had no idea how to love each other.
Back to the stupid part. Because of different bad decisions on each of our part, we have spent the last few years trying to make up for the first several. After our fire we spent the next eight months building our dream home. It was perfect. It was gorgeous!

 Here are a few very bad pics of it. (It has only been recently that I've learned how to take a decent picture.)
We lived here for a short, few months before we lost it in a bankruptcy. Humiliation followed for both of us. Horrible humiliation and shame. People kept asking what had happened and we got so tired of having to explain how stupid we had been.  But we serve a big God and He turned that mess into a blessing. We loved those months of living in the country and although we still had a huge mess to clean up, we made some wonderful memories there. 

 We moved several more times after that (three to be exact. Six moves in as many years.) trying to figure out where we wanted to settle. Every move was horrible. SO... MUCH...STUFF!!! Trucks and trailers full of it. Each time we moved I started wondering why on earth I needed all of it. The last move was last summer. We sat down and decided it was time we changed some things. Really changed. A smaller more modest house was the biggest decision and with that choice came the need to get rid of stuff.

I started off small. Selling a few things here and there and only selling to friends. I guess my thinking was if I ever wanted anything back, I knew where to find it! 

Then it started becoming a challenge...like, a good challenge. I sold a little more and a little more. Bigger and bigger pieces until almost everything you see in these pictures is gone. I'm not just saying that. As I look at these pics I realize that I still have that coffee table and one of those light fixtures and that trunk and thats about it. I even sold my piano! I cried a little over that one but it was one of those huge beasts of a piano that made everyone run when it came time to try to lift it. 

I sold decorations, furniture, Christmas stuff, clothes, art, rugs, ping pong tables, mirrors, greenery. Since I'm such a bargain shopper, I actually made almost more money than I spent! I started looking over everything I owned asking myself "Do I really love you? Do I really need you?" I was shocked at how many times I didn't. My things became less of a treasure to me and more of an opportunity. Losing everything in a fire makes you realize how unimportant stuff is. 

Do you hear me keep calling it that? STUFF... STUFF...STUFF. It is not important. People are. Stuff is replaceable and easily taken from you. Stuff burns up in a fire and you do not even care because your children are safe. Stuff holds you back and clutters up your life. Stuff can become too important if we let it. It is just stuff. 

Now I've gotten myself going and I'm going to have a hard time hushing! So much to say when my fingers hit these keys. But this story is like my journey. A process. Another day readers, another day and I will tell you more. 

The Beginning

I've been trying to remember when my simplifying journey began. You would assume that it all started when my house burned down six and a half years ago and I lost everything. It didn't.
After that I felt such a sense of loss that I couldn't wait to replace stuff. And that's just what I mean. Not special items... "stuff".  Just have stuff around me again.
I missed all the closets bulging. I missed attics and storage rooms full of rubbermaids. Who the heck knew what needed to be in them but just knowing they were there and taking up space apparently had been a comfort to me.
So I started shopping again. Buying things without thinking. I had insurance money and a clean slate. I could buy whatever the heck I wanted. So by golly, I did.
I went to yard sales and flea markets and shopped online and hit TJ Maxx every couple of days. I came home daily with bags of stuff. I was living in a 5000 square foot home with more storage than any ten families need so I could bring everything home and it never got in my way or felt cluttered.

A few months later we started moving all of that crap into my brand new house. I couldn't believe it! How on earth had I acquired so much in just eight short months? But I kept on shopping.
Every time I found a little money I was off to spend it. I bought many beautiful things. Tons of beautiful things. We lived in that house for five months before we realized that our boys needed more space to run around and so we put a for sale sign outside and moved back into the 5000 square foot mansion that we had just left.

If I had gone crazy before I went absolutely insane then. That mansion had wall space and random rooms everywhere. I was determined to fill it and make it look "homier". The problem at that point was that I was out of money. So I got creative. I hit more yard sales and even found free things from abandoned buildings. It was so much fun!

This was most of my most favorite hauls. Almost everything in this picture was free or close to it. I was becoming a pro! This huge mansion was becoming more and more full of treasures. The walls were filling up daily. The closets, spare rooms, basement, and garage, were starting to look not only like I had never had a fire but also like I had been a collector for about twenty years instead of 18 months. If I couldn't afford it I made it. I collected books, instruments, quilts, doilies, picture frames, vases, pitchers, dishes, flower pots, linens, anything else I could find that was pretty. 

 This became my style of decorating. Beautiful and fun but SO MUCH STUFF!!

By the time we moved out of that house a year and a half later, I was set to furnish several beautiful flea market booths. And that was exactly what I started thinking I might need to do. 

Could I start finding beautiful things and selling them for more than I paid? Possibly! This new line of thinking would actually lead to my eventual downsizing. 

As I start reliving this story, I realize how relieved I am that I started this journey and also how excited I am to share it with you! Thanks for reading today!

The Real Jen

Should I or shouldn't I? Do I have something to say? Do I have enough to say? Do I have enough time to keep up with this? Does anyone care or am I just another voice in the massive abyss that is the internet? So many questions! But I'm going to GO FOR IT!! (cheers for myself)

I warn you that my punctuation and spelling and form will be bad. I write fast to keep up with my crazy brain that absolutely never slows down, not even for a second. My fingers often forgettokeepupwithmybrain...see.

This will eventually become my journey towards simplifying but first let me also start off with describing myself to you so you will think of me as just a normal lady and not some incredible, flawless, perfect housewife that does everything the organic, healthy, organized, natural way. I mean...not that I'm all bad. My kids and my husband tell me I'm pretty incredible. My recent goal has been to see my strengths instead of my weaknesses, I'm doing okay with that...somedays.

I am a thirty-nine year old wife, mom, piano teacher, pickle maker, organizer, homeschooler, and aspiring home designer. I struggle with eating healthy. I HATE to exercise. I have extremely curly hair that I have managed to fry off with the cursed straightener. I love having things clean but am often a very grumpy mama trying to manage keeping a house clean with three small boys running around it. I'm learning to keep my plants green but will admit to you that I had to release some of them to their early graves after putting them up in my freezing attic this winter. Because of that mishap, many of the plants you see in my Insta account are new babies. I struggle with patience. I always worry that someone might not like me (which really is crazy cause I'm really likable!). I have a wonderful husband that works hard to support this crazy family. I married him when I was seventeen and he was nineteen (crazy huh?). We have lived in three different states and eleven different homes in 21 years of marriage. Our marriage has been a difficult journey but God has made it stronger through those difficulties and I am very grateful that He kept us together because I sure do love that sweet man of mine!
I have six children ranging from twenty down to six. Three girls, three boys. They say that boys are easier than girls but I disagree. Also girls smell better. Have you noticed? But boys snuggle better.

Over the next few months I will share with you my story. It covers many years and many challenges but I can't wait to share it with you. I cannot promise to post daily. I only write well when I don't get interrupted and that happens like...never.  But I promise to read your comments and I promise to be honest and I promise to be myself.